Sour Grapes
When I started to wake up, I was angry at first too. But I
soon realized I was only hurting myself. After all, the people I was most angry
with were not even in my life any more, including my parents who got me into
the mess in the first place. All those
people would never feel my anger, so what good was it doing me?
Once I fully woke up, I also came to the realization that I
was angry with myself as well. That anger lingered somewhat because the person it was directed at looked at me every day in the mirror.
Eventually, I had to learn to let it go and forgive myself
for all the wasted time and opportunities. I forgave myself for trying to build
relationships and attempting to please people that didn’t really care about me.
Once I did that, I was able to move on and build a happy
life. I don’t think I could have done that successfully if I was eaten up with
anger. Now, I will admit that from time to time I feel a slow, dull, ache of
regret. But that comes less frequently and with less intensity all the time. I don't feel anger any more.
The only way I am reminded of any of these kinds of feelings is
when I peruse social media sites like this one. I come here from time to time
in order to remind myself of where I came from, and also to see what is going
on in the ex-JW community because I still care about it. But I limit it because it can bring back negative feelings I don't want to have.
My suggestion is to try to limit your thinking about all
this stuff and concentrate on something you really want to do that you never
would have before. The Watch Tower already took many years from you; why give
them any more?
